


Donor

by Shinoga



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-11
Updated: 2013-08-11
Packaged: 2017-12-23 03:46:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/921619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinoga/pseuds/Shinoga
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce really should read the text on shirts before he puts them on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Donor

**Author's Note:**

> I have no rights to any of the wonderful stuff Marvel makes.

Bruce felt the other guy rumble under the surface as he stared blearily at test results on a screen. He’d been in one of Stark tower’s advanced labs for close to 36 hours. The man with his name on the tower was curled up on a pile of the supposedly Hulk proof padding they had just finished fabricating. Little whiney snores escaped Tony’s lungs as Dum-e flailed a blanket over him protectively. 

The Chinese food Tony had ordered some 10 hours previously was a long forgotten memory in Bruce’s stomach and Hulk wasn’t being shy about reminding him of this. Had he still been in the slum in India, or any of the other desolate places he’d stuck to over the years, he would have meditated or simply just slept to starve off hunger pains. However he was in one of the most expensive buildings in the world with not only a coffee shop and cafeteria on the ground floor but also 3 private kitchens just so Tony didn’t have to leave the floors he haunted most often to make a sandwich. Bruce closed his work and made sure nothing was going to explode while he was getting food.

Bruce stretched and started to shrug off the white lab coat that Tony both insisted Bruce wear and snickered at. The slight chill of the lab caught him by surprise till he remembered the acid incident at hour 7. He’d had to quickly remove his shirt to avoid acid burns that would have likely ended in a green episode. Instead of going back to the room Tony had set him up in, he had just slipped on the dreaded lab coat buttoned it up and went on about his work. 

With the frequency of other Avengers “sneaking” into the tower, Bruce didn’t much like the idea of wandering around shirtless. Hulk related nudity was more than enough public exposure. And for some reason the thought of the others seeing him in the private joke of the lab coat made something inside of him rumble unhappily that had nothing to do with the Hulk. 

Tony kept a small closet just outside the lab filled clothes. Mostly it was used to house suits for the times Pepper dragged the engineer out by his ear to attend a board meeting he was nearly late for but Bruce was fairly sure he’d seen a few t-shirts inside. The two men were close enough in size that one of Tony’s shirts should fit, if a bit snugly. After hanging the lab coat on a hook just inside the lab’s door Bruce made a beeline for the closet, grabbed the first t-shirt he found, and shoved it over his head. 

A quick query to Jarvis and Bruce headed to kitchen number 2. Steve had taken advantage of what Tony called the “Stark Superhero Strengthening Studio” that morning. Basically it was a gym where the equipment had been calibrated to withstand more than human force. Telling Steve about it had been a peace offering and a dig at the good Captain. Tony had done something incredibly thoughtful but then made sure Steve would have to impose on him every time he wanted to use it.

What Tony hadn’t expected was that the scrawny orphan turned super solider had long since gotten over the awkwardness of imposing on others. In fact he’d even gotten in the habit of cooking up a meal after his workouts, often times cooking enough to share or freeze for leftovers. Bruce’s stomach grumbled as the smell of waffle batter and maple syrup hit his nose. 

“Good morning Captain.” Bruce spoke as he entered the room out of habit; no one in the tower seemed to like him sneaking up on them. Steve was busy peeling a waffle out of the waffle iron when Bruce walked in and turned to greet him.

“Morning Doc….tor,” Steve fumbled as he looked at Bruce and nearly dropped the waffle. One of Bruce’s eyebrows quirked up slightly but he didn’t say any thing, it had been more than a day since he’d last showered and could only imagine how rumpled he must look.

“Mind if I join you?” Bruce asked politely hoping as usual that this wasn’t the day he’d worn out his teammates’ good will. 

“Ah sure, yes of course,” Steve turned back to the waffle iron and started to pour another one, but he didn’t turn fast enough to stop Bruce from seeing the light blush on his cheeks. Staring at the blonde hair on the back of Steve’s head Bruce mused on how unusual that blush was. In the presence of a woman Steve turned red easily enough but when it was just guys in the room it was near impossible to get him to blush. Bruce would know he’d watched Tony and Clint try just about everything. The innuendos had left the doctor alternating between chuckling and questioning Tony and Clint’s knowledge of human anatomy. 

By the time Steve turned back to Bruce with a plate stacked with two waffles the blush was gone but he didn’t meet Bruce’s eyes. After rounding up a fork and drizzling a bit of syrup over the waffles Bruce sat at the bar style counter and took a mouthful of waffle. 

“God damned alien tech,” Clint’s voice sounded as he entered the kitchen half covered in some sort of blue goop. “Oh sorry Cap.” Clint rarely bothered to watch what was coming out of his mouth but he did avoid blasphemy in front of Captain America. In depth discussions of sounding and anal beads around Steve sure but no taking the Lord’s name in vain. Truthfully Bruce thought it was a little bit adorable. 

“Hey Doc does Stark still have any of that solvent on hand. SHIELD doesn’t have any thing that can touch this stuff and you know …not eat through my skin.” Clint pointed at some of the goop holding tightly to his short cropped hair. Bruce wiped his mouth and swallowed his bite of waffle before turning on his stool to face Clint. 

“There should be some in the storage room on level 20,” Bruce answered him as he watched a wolfish grin appear on Clint’s face, “But I thought Tony gave you guys a full barrel of the stuff?”

“Yeah,” Clint glanced at Steve who was resolutely making a stack of waffles, “I think the lab rats used it all up studying it and trying to replicate it.” The wolfish grin remained and Bruce began to wonder if he’d somehow managed to sprout some sort of vulgar looking growth on his forehead since the last time he spoke to someone. He did have an awful lot of radiation in his system.

“I gather they didn’t have much luck.”

“Nope. So Doc you aren’t actually a medical doctor right?” Bruce wondered a bit at the sudden question, especially since he was fairly sure SHIELD had more than complete files on him. They might actually know more about Robert Bruce Banner than he did.

“Well I studied medicine but no my PhD is in nuclear physics.” Bruce didn’t bother explaining the various degrees he actually held, having learned from a young age that being too smart never worked out well for him. 

“So how do you feel about ….organ donation?” Clint’s grin turned positively evil.

“Ah that really isn’t my field, but I suppose it is a viable way of turning a tragedy into hope,” Bruce paused a moment not noticing Natasha slipping into the room, “Is there something I should know about?”

“Good morning Doctor Banner.” Natasha interrupted Clint opening his mouth to speak. Bruce was surprised, Natasha often went out of her way to avoid drawing his attention to her not that he blamed her.

“Umm, good morning Miss Romanoff.” Bruce watched a quick conversation of glances take place between the two spies, the grin on Clint’s face slipped off. Whatever Clint had planned was clearly not approved by his partner.

“Ugh, Avengers,” Tony muttered as he stumbled into the kitchen. “Like cockroaches only harder to keep out of your house.” Bruce didn’t flinch on the outside, but he had to mentally remind himself of the many times Tony had told him he was welcome for as long as he wanted to stay. Tony bit back a yawn as he sat on the stool next to Bruce and stole his plate of waffles quickly shoving a forkful into his mouth. 

“Hey spangles Bruce needs waffles,” Tony called out and nudged Bruce with his shoulder. Catching the physicist’s eye Tony gave him a friendly smirk. 

“Stark,” Steve started before sighing and shaking his head it was hardly the first time Tony had stolen Bruce’s food. He plopped two waffles on a fresh plate and grabbed the syrup. After all Bruce had asked nicely and it wasn’t his fault Tony was too much of a child to just ask for waffles of his own. He put the plate and syrup in front of Bruce as quickly as he could and ignored the blush that rose up again when he glanced at Bruce. 

Tony however woke up completely upon noticing the blush, Bruce hadn’t even done anything and he had the all American man red as a beet. A quick glance at Bruce and Tony grabbed Bruce and turned him so they were facing each other.

“Of all the shirts I own this is the one you wear?” Bruce tried to glance down but Tony grabbed his head and stopped him. “Nope you didn’t look when you put it on you don’t get to look now.”

“Tony what the hell?!” Bruce felt his heart rate spike, nowhere near the danger zone but the shock of someone touching him was poignant. Tony actually managed to look a little cautious before he responded. 

“Just keep in mind if you really feel up to donating I absolutely volunteer to be the first recipient. And the second, actually just put me down for donation 1 thru infinity.” Bruce had no idea what Tony was talking about but he had a downright earnest look in his eyes. “And I’m off to do more science.” Tony scooped up his pilfered plate and strode off toward the lab he’d just left making sure to ignore Clint’s snickers, Natasha’s sly look and to enjoy Steve’s blush and flustered sputtering.

Stunned Bruce finally glanced down at the shirt he was wearing. The shirt was red with a white design and two white words. The design was a medical style cross and the words proclaimed the wearer an “Orgasm Donor.”

“Oh,” Bruce whispered, “I, um science.” Bruce grabbed his own plate and wandered after Tony leaving the rest of the Avengers in shock.

“I call not it on updating Fury about this situation,” Clint piped up as Bruce disappeared.

**Author's Note:**

> So my Science Bro sent me this link http://www.redbubble.com/people/babyshaq3/works/10109601-orgasm-donor and I had to write this.


End file.
